[Ask the Pipe Doc is a regular column comprised of questions and answers provided as a way of educating pipe smokers. Answers are provided by our resident 'Pipe Doc,' Marty Pulvers.]

Let's get beyond any fondness for "vitamin N" and delve into what's really going on here. Connection with our forefathers? Testosterone poisoning? Y-chromosome brain damage? I have my own ideas, but I would love to hear what shards of wisdom you may have garnered over your time and travels. Thanks!

That said, the short (and maybe the long) answer is, "We smoke because we like to smoke." I actually do believe that there is something almost innate in the need to smoke. I have read that long before pipes, men would dig holes in the ground, burn leaves in it and take hollow branches and suck in the smoke. If they had tobacco back then, I am positive they would have been inspired to invent pipes for the purpose.

As you may know, tyrants like Ivan the Terrible of Russia and Murad of Turkey imposed horrible penalties (slit noses… death, that sort of thing) on citizens who were caught smoking tobacco. It didn't work… men smoked anyway.

Tell your wife it may, indeed, be a male thing, mostly, and it cannot be readily extinguished. She will do much better trying to get you to clean the bathroom and vacuum the living room than trying to get you to stop smoking. Her imprecations will merely drive you underground, and before long you will be joining our little Thursday Night Pipe & Pint group in Palo Alto. I am afraid that is as technical as I can get.

Continued Good Smoking for You,

Sincerely,

Marty, The Pipe Doc

[Editor's Note: If you have any comments, or would like to offer your opinions on "Why Men Smoke" send them to doc@stogiefresh.com and I may add them to the appendix of this article.]

Other credentials include his being named a Doctor of Pipes by the Chicagoland Pipe Club and a Certified Kapnismologist (don't ask) by Pipe Collector's International... now defunct (don't ask). He is also a Certified Beer Judge, which he concedes has nothing to do with the subject at hand, but might help explain, in advance, the quality and tenor of some of his answers to your pipe questions.

Marty began his pipe voyage in abject ignorance of pipes and tobacco, and over the 45-plus years of pipe smoking, he claims to have experienced and learned a lot. Alas, he's willing to admit that it is possible he has been at it so long that this journey may have resulted in a complete circle.